Obstacles - Prep Day 5

Making or breaking it in this project is going to depend upon learning to navigate a wide range of obstacles. I understand I can't prepare for everything, but I want to be as prepared as I can be.

So I figured I should brainstorm things that are going to happen at some point this year.

1. I'm at a party
2. It's a holiday and I'm at a party
3. It's my birthday
4. I forget something to eat and go hungry.
5. The hunger makes me depressed and I start thinking ''why bother?"
6. People try to push food on me.
7. I get depressed and have cookie binge cravings.
8. I start fantasizing about going to the store and binging on cookies (honestly just writing this makes me desire this a little right now.)
9. I'm drinking
10. Someone offers me food.
11. A bunch of people are partaking in a communal feast.
12. I feel sick to my stomach.
13. I get depressed and can't figure out what to eat when I wander around the kitchen.
14. I come home tired and don't want to cook.
15. I need to eat something before I work out.
16. I run out of easy to prepare food.
17. Someone suggests ordering in.
18. I'm at a restaurant and offered dessert.
19. I'm in a good mood and want to celebrate.
20. I forget my lunch at work.

Okay, that's a list of like 20 things and I could probably list 20 more. I've got my work cut out for me. What I'm going to do is group these into themes and then figure out a solution for each theme. Then at least I'll have some plan to fall back on when these situations do arise.

I have 3 more days to figure this out. Well I guess I don't have to have EVERYTHING figured out. But enough that I can get off to a running start.

Relief - Prep Day 3

Realized I'm not going to be able to depend on PBJ sandwiches much longer. So when I got home today, I actually cooked a real meal. It's been one of those days where I can see how far discipline will take me if I can just apply it on a consistent basis.

I feel confident going into this. I've never attempted anything so big and yet I know I can do it. I just have to take it one moment at a time.

I just feel so relieved thinking of living my life without junk food. All that conflict and guilt that goes into deciding whether I should eat something or not. Just knowing that it's not an option sounds very liberating. I know that must sound weird.

Really I'm just trying to go into this with an experimental spirit. I want to learn from this experience. I don't know what challenges await me on the journey but I feel like this past year has prepared me.

I'm starting to set up mini-rewards along my journey, since a year can seem so far off in the future. My reward for sticking to the plan for January is a bath pillow. Part of the fun of this will be identifying little rewards.

Feliz Navidad - Prep Day 2

This is really happening. I keep thinking about it and how insane it is that I am actually going to do this. Then there's the fact that my father-in-law offered to sweeten the deal by doubling my reward IF I make it the entire year. How can I fail??? That's over $700!

At the same time, how can I succeed? Well, that is what I am trying to figure out. Sharpen the axe in preparation for the job. I had the opportunitity to go the movie theater but I vetoed it because it would likely end with me eating pretzels with cheese. Even though the challenge hasn't started yet, I don't want to go on a week-long binge in desperation.

No, this is going to take an all-new way of thinking. A new way of being. All of these defaults I've set up in my mind - oh, I can't say no when it's right in front of me, oh, it's okay because today is a special day - none of that is going to matter anymore. I'm going to have to find a way to say no.

I think one of the best ways I'll succeed at this is by not focusing too much on what I can't have. It's true that in a way this goal requires abstinance, but I'd rather think of it in terms of abundance. What new foods will I discover along the way? What new skills will I build?

What am I going to do when I'm depressed? Because there will be days that I am depressed. I'll experience anxiety and want to cram a cheeseburger down my throat. I might tell myself that my goals don't matter. But I have to find a way to reach myself even during those times. Maybe I will record a pep talk when I am having a really good day. Or write a message to myself, to be read during the hard times. I will have to think about this.

Prep Week Day 1

I have one week to prepare. This idea hit me out of the blue last night and I was so excited about it I couldn't sleep. I was just laying there, musing about how difficult it has been for me to keep my shit together this holiday season, and it occurred to me that I needed to do something BIG. Something that seemed impossible.

So, this is my impossible goal: No junk food for one full year.

My heart skips a beat just thinking about it. It's such a big goal to the point of ridiculousness. But if you don't push yourself, how do you know what you're capable of?

Now, I'm not being left to flounder here. I have the support of my husband and my Coach, and I've set this up in such a way that I am extremely motivated to keep it going.

For each consecutive day that I do not eat junk food, I get $1.

Payable on January 1, 2015.

So if I make it the entire year, I get a $365 payoff at the end of the year!

But let's say I start this project on January 1, 2014. I avoid junk food for two weeks, then I fumble and eat some cheesecake. On January 1, 2015, I get $14. No second chances, no skipping days allowed. The goal is to see how long I can make it - how long will my chain be? How many wonderful dollars do I get and what will I spend them on?

Can I really do this? I honestly don't know and that's why it's so exciting.